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Seniors rule baseball's most important job
© by Mike Keenan 
Soon enough, those invigorating brisk breezes of fall will chatter into our world view with chilly air and falling leaves and, immediately, everyone's thoughts will quickly turn to the World Series, and of course, the National League pennant race to the playoffs, which will feature the usual suspects, the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, the two teams that coincidentally spend the most money to purchase their expensive troops. At the beginning of the season, I admit that I was bemused for over a month by the quick start of the Jays, even without pitching, their sluggers heroically paving the way for one victory after another. Sadly, their number three and number four hitters, despite earning millions of dollars, could not hit a dazed dog with a broomstick. Alas, the Jays could not keep up their masquerade, and sunk to their usual depth, 12 or more games behind the leaders.
Much has been written about baseball and I find that often it's a metaphor for life; now you are probably trying to figure out how innings relate to decades and what position a retiree plays. First base in recognition of our status? Second base to indicate our facility with the ladies? Third base, the hot corner to signify menopause? Pitcher or catcher? I think not. Leave those two busy positions to the youngsters. The outfield to signify our penchant for picking daisies or being slightly off kilter? Those are interesting choices, all nice positions but the answer, of course, is manager, the guy who directs the team. That's the position you want for your wisest asset, someone who has been around all the bases and home plate and knows that a designated hitter is not someone you pick for a blind date. Apparently, big league baseball, a huge business predicated on millions and millions of dollars, just to pay team salaries, wholeheartedly agrees with me. The National League, in particular, is a virtual advertisement for the Canadian Association of Retired People. The Dodgers, currently the best team in the majors, are managed by the oldest manager, Joe Torre, (formerly of the Yankees) who just entered his 70th summer. In the Central Division, St. Louis sits on top, thanks to the refined wisdom of 64-year-old Tony LaRussa. In the East, the world champion Phillies are ably managed by Charlie Manuel at 65. You cannot argue with success. Seniors make the best managers. In the National League, you will find three more graybeards in their 60s. These are not the kind of people you see in those dumb TV commercials, adjusting their dentures, slowly manoeuvering their bodies into a stand-up bath-tub or consuming meds to ward off dementia. The average age of National League managers is 57. American League managers are not spring chickens, either. The Central Division leader, Detroit, is capably managed by Jimmy Leyland, age 64. Please note. By year end, four of the six division-leading managers will be eligible for full Social Security benefits. Also, please note that baseball is the only sport wherein the managers dress precisely like their players, adorned in those pajamas-like outfits that players wear, even in the bullpen when not playing. Some think that the uniform hides their age. Personally, I have a large collection of baseball caps; so does every retiree. We know that everybody loves a man in a uniform. Particularly an old man. At this point, in fairness, I should mention that coaches in the NBA are the second oldest group in professional sports and that Mr. Phil Jackson, successfully coached the Los Angeles Lakers to the championship this year at age 63. Surprised? Not me. Yes, Niagara Falls' Jay Triano may be a nice guy and he may even work extremely well with the Raptors, but, you guessed it, too young; however, he is wisely cultivating baldness so perhaps he will soon work out in another ten or so years. |
