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Will the Prince of Wales stay in the Prince of Wales?
© by Mike Keenan 
Prince Charles and Camilla reportedly are going to visit Niagara on the Lake in November which is appropriate because if they decide to stay over at the Prince of Wales Hotel, we would have the Prince of Wales actually in the Prince of Wales. This could result in a whole new Abbott and Costello shtick to replace their baseball comedy, "Who's on first?"
Charles Philip Arthur George was born November 14, 1948 and as the eldest child of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, is the heir apparent to the crown. Being heir apparent these days is not an easy task when one considers the longevity of the Queen and Queen Mother. Elizabeth is a mere 83 and has many years to go to catch up to her mother who broke the 100 year barrier; thus, if Elizabeth does hang in for another 17 years, Prince Charles will be 78 which is the average age of those living in Niagara on the Lake, so my suggestion to the Prince is this: given the longevity in his family, he might as well take up residence in Niagara on the Lake at the Prince of Wales Hotel. Imagine the tourism boost! It would also give an added boost to local polo and as a change of pace, the Prince could take advantage of a jet boat ride or two after his horseback action. I notice that we have no shortage of foxes in these parts, so we could make the Prince feel right at home with the other old codgers in NOTL by staging an occasional fox hunt. Yet another tourism boost. Miriam and I have been dutifully practicing our curtsies and devoutly watching the CBC series on the Tudors to acquire a better feel for monarchy and its courtly ways. We often practise with neighbours. For example, when Don appears at our door wanting to borrow the wheelbarrow, I execute a spiffy curtsy and extending an arm in a wide arc, I pronounce, "Right this way, your grace," leading him to the garage. Miriam does the same and mixes in the term, "your liege." I have no idea what a liege is, but I'm sure that I've heard it often in Shakespearian plays and you can't do much better than Shakespeare when talking to the Prince of Wales. Miriam and I shared wedding anniversaries with Charles when he was married to Lady Diana Spencer. I don't think it will be appropriate for me to bring this topic up if by chance, we meet the Prince of Wales at the Prince of Wales. That sordid affair with Camilla Parker-Bowles certainly poisoned the air around our house and helped the Queen experience an annus horriblis which is Latin for a really rotten time. I discovered that Charles can change his name depending on where he is. For example, when he is in Scotland, he goes by the name, The Duke of Rothesay; when in South West England, he becomes The Duke of Cornwall. Miriam and I might have some fun with that. When she is in St. Catharines, I will refer to Miriam as The Lady of the Pond in honour of those formidable rowers who get up so early each morning to practise at Martindale. She will also become The Wizard of Welland, The Femme Fatale of Fort Erie and The Maid of the Mist in Niagara Falls. We might have legal problems with the last one, but it's worth the effort. If Charles does decide to stay, I'm sure that the members of The Men's Book Club would accept him as a new inductee. We could award him yet another name. Perhaps the Duke of Earl or the Baron of Books. Changing one's name dependant upon geography is a good trick. When people get older, they tend to forget names. It would be so much easier then if we could simply make up new ones as we go. Yes, it might be a headache for those who print telephone books, but the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. |
